F. My Journal: A Silent Dialogue With Myself

"A journal, unlike a finished poem, story, or essay, remains alive, open and incomplete, similar to the process of history itself, awaiting further entries."
- A Teacher

What Is Written Lasts Forever"

Isaac Abravanel (1437-1508)

This Chapter and You...

You are about to embark on a one-of-a-kind odyssey - The March of the Living. You are going to go and come back from places where many went and did not return. You are going to experience so much in so short a time that trying to capture and remember everything would be virtually impossible.

Those who have gone on the March before you find themselves saying regularly, as they hear others speak of their experiences, "Gee, I had those feelings too, but I never thought about it in those terms until just now when I heard you mention it." Those who kept good journals have said such things as, "My journal was my confidant," or "My journal allowed me to discuss my feelings with myself, and to reflect on my day."

One teacher commented that, "A journal, unlike a finished poem, story or essay, remains alive, open and incomplete, similar to the process of history itself, awaiting further entries."

Do you remember the scene from "Dead Poet Society" when Robin Williams as the teacher in a posh prep school speaks to his class for the first time? He tells them "Carpe Diem," seize the day, the very moment. Don't let it get away from you or it will be lost forever. Your journal is your chance to "Carpe Diem."

One author summarized it this way when she said, "I write entirely to find out what I am thinking, what I am looking at, what I see and what it means." Your journal can chart your experience, illuminate your response and even function as a support system for your thinking. It can magically transport you back through time and space to a moment or a feeling."

It is a means to record, graphically and spontaneously, ongoing encounters with everyday issues of the past and present as you bear witness to history and grow. You will have insights, questions and memories, and if you record these perceptions with honesty, be able to revisit them and internalize them. You will have taken a major step toward self-understanding. WHAT you choose to include and confront in YOUR journal will tell you much about WHO and WHAT you are.

Your journal should begin NOW. You had to write a paper about why you wished to go on the March as part of your application process. Why not put your thoughts on paper in your journal? You will find that the journal is a wonderful way to organize your reasons. And won't it be cool to look at those reasons after your trip to see how many of your reasons materialized and maybe how many new ideas emerged from the experience.

Many of you will be attending classes prior to and after the journey. Your reactions to what you learn, hear and see, the discussions in class, and to your fellow marchers, can all be captured in your journal for later reflection.

Did you ever say to yourself after hearing someone say something really quotable, "Wow, I wish I had said that" or "If I ever have to speak on that topic, I wish I could remember that quote." Well, you can! How do you think the original speaker knew just the right thing to say? Very little is original. But there is ever so much that is quotable - if you keep track of it.

Journal keeping will help you build working definitions for new functional words in your spoken vocabulary. Words such as resistance, conscience, consequences, motivation, bureaucracy, prejudice, responsibility, scapegoating and more take on new meanings as you progress on the March. As information increases, your initial definitions become more complex (see unit on "A Study of Words").

You do not have to conform to ANY textbook style. It can be YOU in creative form. You may take copious notes as in class, or write to an imaginary self in letter form, (see Appendix A). You may prefer to express yourself in abstract concepts by means of a configuration of lines and shapes in space, like the spokes of a wheel with the center being the major theme of the experience, (see Appendix B) or in concentric and overlapping circles indicating what encapsulates what.

You may draw your ideas and feelings. You may compose your thoughts in poetic form or even in song, (see Appendix C). Appendix D is a sample page which has been used successfully by some who use the more traditional mode of note-taking or journal writing. If that's your style feel free to duplicate and use the format. The CAPTURE section is for notes (you can xerox without the lines if ART is your thing). The TAKE HOME section is for indexing the notes to the right. It might have single words indicating on the page where things might be found as for example Majdanek, sights, sounds, feelings. That section allows you to retrieve what you are looking for quickly without reading each quotations, statements, things you might later use in talks on the subject or teaching or relating to others - maybe one of those quotes mentioned earlier.

You have to do what is RIGHT FOR YOU. Whether in lines, shapes, free form art, in rhyme or in special relations, your journal should tell YOU a story - YOUR STORY. The story is real. THE STORY IS YOU. And your story begins right now.

APPENDIX A

DIARY OF A MARCHER

Day 1

The departure date has finally arrived, after months of mental and physical preparation. We leave the comfort and security of our parents' arms, boarding the plane with excitement and anticipation. Although we realize these next two weeks will be no vacation, we really have no true concept as to the powerful, emotional experiences that await us.

Day 2

We arrive at the Warsaw airport on a brisk, clear morning after a long, tiring flight. As we disembark, we are greeted by our first harsh, alien sight - a young, grim-faced, Polish soldier in uniform with rifle in hand - an eerie experience for many of us, particularly the Holocaust survivors travelling with us.

We meet our Polish guides and board buses. Our first stop - the Nozyck Synagogue, the only one left in all of Warsaw - one of several hundred in this city before World War II. Built in 1902, the synagogue survived Nazi use as a stable, and today serves several elderly Jewish men who meet for daily prayers at the renovated, well-kept shul. Next door is the once-celebrated Yiddish theater. We stop in and stare at the black and white photographs of pre-war, famous Yiddish actors and actresses.

Nearby is the dusty, dim Jewish Museum. A survivor with us remarks that she used to live nearby, but everything has been rebuilt and looks unfamiliar. We receive long stares from construction men who stop their work on a modern glass building next door. It will be the first of many stares we receive during our week in Poland.

We experience our first Polish meal - a dull lunch of a hard roll, raw radishes with the roots still attached and, yes - an Israeli chocolate wafer! Like the unwelcome stares, it will be one of many such unappetizing meals to follow, with the exception of the wafer, of course.

We move on to the larger than life Rappaport Memorial to the Warsaw Ghetto uprising. Today happens to mark the 47th anniversary of the uprising, and friends and family of those who perished take part in a commemoration of the event. We witness a powerful ceremony - to the urgent beat of drums, each family carries a large wreath of beautiful flowers and walks slowly up to the memorial, where a soldier accepts the flowers, placing them at the foot of the memorial. When the soldiers leave, the families drop their rigid stances and swarm up to the memorial. We join them in reciting Kaddish and singing Hatikvah.

APPENDIX B

APPENDIX C

Death

Dana Hirsch, Pittsburgh, PA, Participant, March 1990

Death is all I see

Death is surrounding me

Grass and trees grow anew

While all I see is the death of a fellow Jew

APPENDIX D

Place Pg

Date Time